If your boyfriend isn’t quite the romantic he was when you first
started dating, help him to bring a little sizzle back into the romance
side of the relationship. The first step is communication; if he doesn’t
know anything is wrong, or that you are dissatisfied, he will not know
that his behavior needs to be modified in any way unless you tell him.
Don’t assume that just because you’ve left a few subtle hints he’ll
understand how important it is to you. Be direct and lead by example.
Make it enjoyable so that he can get some of the things he’d like out of
the relationship as well.
STEP 1Approach
him in neutral territory when neither of you is upset or pressed for
time. This makes it a calm environment where you can discuss what you’d
like without making it seem like it’s an attack on him. Arrange a
romantic setting so he can understand visually what you want when you
ask him to be more romantic.
STEP 2Explain
how much it would mean to you if he were more thoughtful. Don’t be
subtle, but avoid sounding accusatory as well. Give examples of what you
like so he knows exactly what to do, but give him options so you can
still be surprised. For example, “I would really love it if there were a
little more romance in our relationship, like candlelight dinners and
cuddling in front of the fireplace” instead of “You aren’t romantic
enough.” Don’t be angry if he continues to ask for examples of what
you’re looking for, because this will help him learn in the future.
STEP 3Issue
a friendly challenge. Appeal to his competitive side and offer him
something he really wants if he can beat you at the “romance” game
within a certain period of time. For instance, let him go on a boys-only
golf weekend if he can “out-romance” you within a month. If he loses,
then he can go on an antiquing weekend with you instead.
STEP 4Create
coupon books filled with a dozen things he would like and a dozen
things you’d like, and then exchange them. For every coupon he uses,
such as a romantic dinner for two at a nice restaurant, he gets
something from you in return, such as a fishing trip. You can also trade
affection or services, such as massages, if you would like
STEP 5Take
your time. Whereas you know what you want, he is still learning. Be
patient and allow your boyfriend to get there in his own time frame. In
the meantime, keep showing him by example what you consider romantic and
keep the lines of communication open.
Source: Datingtips.match.com
Source: Datingtips.match.com